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Wednesday, 18 April 2012

  • Every single thing I do, whether good or bad, ends up being used against me while I'm with you. I told you multiple times that there are certain lines that should NEVER be crossed. What still really boggles my mind and confuses me is why the hell would do what you did. I don't care if it is "in the past" so as long as I am given reasons to remember it.

    For every single time you swear at me I will remember the past. I'm not going to forget how I was standing outside of somebody's house being told to go to your house to "get on my knees and beg for forgiveness". Immediately after that you go out and throw a bomb into my house. What are the reasons behind these actions besides wanting to start a war or hurt somebody?

    I am your significant other. Why would you do these kind of things to me? I know we both get mad, but there are lines neither of us should never cross. You are very close of losing me because I'm starting to understand that this relationship isn't worth fighting for and that you will never fight for it as hard as I do. You put 2-3 hours of work into fighting against what I have done for 3 years, get angry, and drop bombs.

    I am tired of justifying what I believe in or telling you that beating someone when they are down is wrong, only to hear you justify it with actions that occurred 3 years ago then telling me not to look back into the past. I'm very close of throwing in the towel.

    And I'm tired of waking up and seeing a PM in your name that says something like "You are so full of shit". If your objective is to hurt me and push me away, you are almost done. I'm very close and ready to leave.

Monday, 06 February 2012

  • Are the majority in community college/Canadian college retarded?

    I recently sat down with one of my BTC teachers, the teacher that is currently teaching us to write business proposals and instruction manuals. She got her Masters from Western Ontario, which is the same school I used to go to before I switched into Seneca. Originally, I thought that the idea of "college students are retarded" was just the impact of social media; I could not have been more wrong. The main kicker in the conversation was when I said this:

    Me: You've been to Western Ontario, so you must have noticed the quality of students here are...frankly, more retarded than university standards. (yes, this is EXACTLY what I said)
    Professor: ....Yeah, I agree.

    And that's when I knew the next two years are going to be incredibly difficult. Don't get me wrong, I have my own Marvel Super Hero Squad of ambitious friends from Seneca, but the majority of the class spend their time talking while the professor is lecturing, 4Chaning, looking at penises and other incredibly stupid things they shouldn't be doing in class. Is it my age? Maybe, but I could have sworn we were taught when we were younger to not talk while somebody else is talking, especially in elementary school. And by no means is the professor speaking somebody like Barb Czgel who can't teach for her life, I'm referring to professors that almost all of us agree are great professors.

    It's not as if I don't end up flipping open some games once in a blue moon; especially during presentations. But I'm not in the back making prank calls on an iPad while the teacher is lecturing. Seriously speaking, some of these kids need to get their ass beaten, Asian style, bu their parents.

    Two other points are English standards, and fitness standards. Okay, I understand not everyone is from Canada but can someone explain to me how is it that Chinese students from mainland (whom I still hate for fucking up Lineage 2) to study at Western or University of Toronto have better grammar than me, yet when you enter college you've got a bunch of inbred dumbshits who can't separate there, their and they're or compose a complete sentence. These same inbreds end up graduating...just wtf?!

    Last and final point. I understand Seneca College has very shitty sport activity and school spirit; but regardless at Western Ontario and University of Toronto there are a fleet of individuals who are "health aware" or just doing it for the sake of doing it. I cannot think of a single person in Seneca College, including professors, that is health aware and physically fit. I still believe that personal fitness plays a LARGE part in one's self-control, self-esteem, and willpower. I respect those who can out perform me, and greatly respect those similar to me. I, however, did not believe that fat people would choose to be fat until I came to Seneca. Some fat kid, in my class, was telling me how he just wants to keep eating because food is so good; then bitched to me about his shirt size doesn't exist.

    Perhaps all of this is happening because the class room size of College is smaller than my 1000 student classes in first year, therefore making me more aware of the types of people who attend school. But that doesn't disprove the fact that multiple professors have agreed that college students are stupid...it wasn't until spoke to my BTC prof that it hit me as hard as it did now. I suppose now I've got two choices:

    Work my ass off.
    Become a dumbass.

    I've broken stereotypes before, and I'll break this one as well.

Tuesday, 11 October 2011

  • Dear Myself

    Somewhere along the lines of walking this path you got confused and I'm here to ask you to wake the fuck up. You wanted a motorcycle, and you got one, but was that the finish line? No, you still have 600ccs and two cylinders to catch up with.
    You woke up one day, looked at yourself in the mirror, and went "holy shit, how did I get here" and now you're back to getting fat, was that the finish line? No, you still had Chris Redfield, Solid Snake, Jim Raynor and others to catch up with real or fiction.
    You looked around you, realizing you were, at least number wise, the smartest in your entire year; was that the finish line? No, it wasn't, you're almost 4 years behind and in college which is filled generally by retards except the few that come from university.

    You need to get up and start sprinting again. Don't run, don't give yourself excuses to do something half assed just because someone else is. You are only as great of a person that you allow yourself to be, your limits are set by your mind, and above all nothing can hold your back except yourself.

    Two months ago you shut down your Xanga because your girl friend decided to bitch at you for feeling uncomfortable about you posting your thoughts online. Well, you know what? Forget about what she thinks or wants. You've spent the last 2.5 years doing the following:

    #1. Picking her up and dropping her off to work.
    #2. Picking her up and dropping her off to school.
    #3. Putting massive effort and still am into getting her to go to the gym.
    #4. Slammed into her head that if she didn't get her marks up she would be going absolutely no where in life.
    #5. Trying to teach her that her family relationship is NOT that bad.

    The only reason why you didn't write this earlier was because you were afraid of her reading it. You weren't afraid of hurting her feelings, you were afraid of her yelling at you. Just because she can't take the truth or face reality doesn't mean you follow behind her, like a fucking retard, start getting fat, slacking off in school, and being satisfied with your life.

    Vince Lee, you are not done and still have a damn long road ahead of you. If you burn out this early you may as well kill yourself now because the goals you set for yourself are far more difficult than they seem. Now get up, start sprinting and stop thinking your girl friend, or anyone else, is going to help you reach your goals. You are the only person capable of doing that, so wake the fuck up and go.

Thursday, 07 July 2011

  • Speed

    Ever get that feeling that nothing matters at all cause you're happy? I get that feeling when I'm riding, it's like taking a drug without any side effects. Feeling the wind in my face and through my jacket vents at 130 km/h. The occasional asshole bug that flies into my helmet. The smile that forms on my face when I perfectly down shift without any throttle pulling. The feeling of my entire body being pushed back when I accelerate from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds. The near death feeling I'm making a 45 degree angled turn at 60 km/h, with my knees almost touching the floor. The kids and boys staring at me as if they've never seen a motorcycle before.

    This is just the start, I want to hammer down the basics and learn how to maintain this motorcycle. After this comes racing. I won't make it big, hell, it'll probably be a waste of money than an investment but you know what? At the very least, I feel alive when I'm out there.


    NTS:
    Change brake pads
    Change brake fluid
    Realign steering

    Clean air filter, chain and sprockets @ 13100

Thursday, 30 June 2011

  • Buttons

    Keep pushing my buttons. This isn't going to end well.

    If I could choose to stop caring I would, but I love her too much. I wonder if Amanda felt way...and I wonder if that's why she eventually forced herself to leave, even though it must have been so hard on her.

    better hang on fucking tight if you don't want to die
    who knwos what the fuck you'd do on it
    ont he way home
    This is what she wrote to me before I was going to leave work and ride back home. This is what will be on my mind while I'm riding at 100km/h tonight. Damnit Mandy, you are supposed to be kicking me right now.

     

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